are you still at the devil's house?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
