butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
