I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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