fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
