Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
