why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
