I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
