I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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