he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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