I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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