I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
