I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
