Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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