those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
