There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
