drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
