Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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