Rock
Scissors
Fuck
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
