I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
