I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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