Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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