ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My feet surprised me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
