shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
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look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
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Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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