Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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