I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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