The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
