It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
