So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
