Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
