I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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