He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
