Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We need to get me chipped asap
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
