Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
