so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
