we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Say something about gay babies.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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