I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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