AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
