I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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