Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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