Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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