he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she looked like the before picture.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
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