One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
