There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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