I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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