first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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