I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
