On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
