he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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