IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
