Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
