Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
