found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
