Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
