I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
