Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You ruined the universe
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
