stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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