Dual....:-)
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
