Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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