Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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