i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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