I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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