1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you win again, gameday.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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