you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
