so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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