whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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