Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
