that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
