I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so let's talk penis.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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